just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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