it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
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