I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
