ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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