It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
