If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
