Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Me. At least after what I've been through.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
