I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
