You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Randomize
