So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
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