Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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