He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
