Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
