So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
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