"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize