They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
