how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
