I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
