I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
