she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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