we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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