I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Randomize
