Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize
