I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
is wine microwaveable?
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I could fuck to npr.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
