I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
someone owes me an orgasm
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
