No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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