No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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