Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
