Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
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