I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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