I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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