Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
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