Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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