Swine flu. Run for my life!
my sisters under your porch take her home
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
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