So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
