is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
