No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
