The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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