Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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