There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
