Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Randomize
