I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
