so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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