Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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