Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
