Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
