and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
