I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
