is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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