my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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