ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
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