Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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