Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Sorry my hands just texted you
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
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