i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
