She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
