i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Randomize
