he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
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