I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
