I need help removing her.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
